Good, Full and Abundant Life

When I am in a space where I feel that life is so good, so full, and so abundant, I feel as if paradise itself has knocked on the door of my soul, and I’ve welcomed it in.  And, usually around that same time I experience that one thing (or multiple things) that reminds me of the broken world I live in.  Now, I’m facing down a difficult situation that challenges this good, full and abundant life.  Then, because I am not perfect, I sometimes even ask “am I really having that ‘good, full and abundant’ life? 

Since the first day of my sabbatical began on April 1st, I suppose it’s only fair to expect tricks & trials to be played on me for the duration of this year long endeavor. April fools, right? But, maybe it’s that challenge that makes this life so good, full and abundant.  Experiencing tricks and trials and then working through them gives me the the option of responding to them in grace, or in stress (usually for me it is some combination of them both, but heavier on the stress).  In a strange way, these tricks and trials seem to add color to my life, whether it is wanted or not. I have to wonder that without experiencing these various tricks & trials on some interval, how would I find improvement or growth in my life? When I think back on a meaningful event, there was usually a cost associated with it. For example: this sabbatical required diligent savings, and then a risk taking jump, which is not a passive or gentle thing to do, when I consider how it will impact my family.  It is really hard!

This sabbatical-summer has been a real treat for me: It is the first season I’ve ever had where I could fully enjoy my beautiful wife, Jenn, and our three amazing kids without the constraint of time.  So far, we visited some of our favorite places, arriving when we wanted, and leaving when we wanted. While it sounds so hippy-and-free, I’m really quite the organizer (just ask my sister or cousin about the manual I create full of activities, menus, and schedules).  However, combining freedom with organization skills is a way of experiencing something in a much richer and engaging way for me.  Time really is so valuable, and I’m grateful for this commodity in my possession, if only for a season.

However, in the midst all this freedom, I’ve walked into some challenging trials and tricks.   In earlier posts, I shared about losing a wallet, but came to find it a week later - but after I went through the ordeal of trying to locate it and then ordering a new license, credit card and everything else.  I also shared how our bank card was taken and used by a total stranger to purchase nearly $2,000 worth of “stuff”.  This passed week a dear friend of ours was in a collision, while borrowing our car. Thankfully, everyone walked away.  Each of these things happened beyond my control and they each entangle me in a situation that I did not want to be in.  Try as I might, I simply can’t walk away from any of these things.  Though, against my wishes, I must engage them all because my name is associated with each one in a very expensive way.  

Sabbatical Journey: Driving over the Chesapeake

Going through these real life situations, I’d like to say that I am totally prepared and able to respond to the tricks and trials as they are presented.  The truth is, however, I’m not.  I’m not really that prepared.  I’m not that great at handling these things.  I get cranky. I get frustrated.  I’m not that graceful, patient, or kind.  In fact, I get concerned that my plans for a year long sabbatical will be cut short - too short.  I fear failing my wife, and my kids by not being able to fully execute the plan of spending this whole year with them. However, I’ve also found that through these experiences, this is the moment where faith is able to step in.  Faith (in the case here) of having the confidence that there is grace available to manage this trick or trial, even when I do not see or understand its presence to be available.  

For the last 12 or so years, I’ve worked hard and I believe I’ve done well to save my money, live humbly, be generous with those around me, and learn how to live life meaningfully (I’m still working on that one).  The scary thing for me now is that I’ve got some real people in my life that look to me as the guy with the answers. Then, when tricks and trials show up, I have to look them in the eye and say “there really is no telling what the outcome will be”. But then I have to smile - a meaningful and genuine smile - because I have that faith or confidence that grace is really there on the other side of this trial (even though I can’t see or understand it) and I know that all will be more than okay. Unexplainable as it seems, this is a place where life is lived in a full, good, and abundant way. 

The richness of life, now impacted with some interval of tricks and trials, is when I look back at the memory of each experience and run my fingers over the impression it left on me... I am rewarded with a story different from anyone else, unique to me and real to me. I have the opportunity to look back when it’s all over and gain a richer and newer perspective for this sacred gift of life I manage right now.