The sense of being stripped

The words “stripping down” came to mind this passed Thursday.  And, I mean this figuratively as well as spiritually - certainly not literally. I can assure you that this is a G-rated  post.  There is some context to this thought, so “bare” with me (pun intended) as I share a little background on the theme here.

In my very first post, I shared about my conversion to the Ancient Catholic Church at the  Easter Vigil this year.  The process leading up to that moment was lengthy and included many questions from this former charismatic evangelical protestant. However, one of the more simple decisions I had to make was the taking on of a new name.  For me it was a no-brainer: Francis, as in Saint Francis of Assisi.  

St Francis of Assisi

The name Francis seems to have grown in some popularity, with Cardinal Bergoglio’s announcement of his new name on March 16th - which was also Francis.  I have always had an affection toward Saint Francis and started to appreciate his ways of life back in the mid-late 1990‘s. I tease my kids that this is when I used to be cool. Grunge was in and I had the grunge “thing” nailed: long kinky/curly hair, battered corduroy pants and flannel shirts... I must have made my parents proud as an in-style 17-19 year old.  Suffice it to say, my parents actually were proud of me (despite my appearance of “cool”), because my close friends and I would frequent church young adult groups and often pray with people of need in Detroit and Royal Oak (BEFORE that community was so trendy).  These friends and I would routinely fellowship in people’s homes figuring out this Christian life, drink coffee, listen to Starflyer 59, have potluck meals and come up with ideas on how to help the poor. 

At one point while we were at my buddy Mike’s home, we gathered to watch a 1970‘s teary-doe-eyed movie about the life of Francis: “Brother Son, Sister Moon”.  I was really hooked by this.  Looking at this movie from hind-sight, it does have a “70’s cheesy” look to it, however, I didn’t catch that at the time.  The movie offered an unfolding of a story with significant depth and I wanted to learn more about this “Francis”.  Because of the clothing business that Francis’ father was in, his family was very wealthy.  As a result of this wealth, Francis had many friends and his ambitions seemed almost guaranteed - specifically his desire for glory as a noble knight.  However, as I began to learn about Francis’s life, a series of many events prompted him to give everything up.  In fact at one point, he literally strips himself bare of everything, including his own family name and thus any inheritance. 

As a result of this initial movie viewing, I had an indescribable interest in Francis.  His transition in mid-life, his yearning for deeper things, and his releasing of everything he could lay claim to, was stuck in my mind. Fast forward now to a conversation with my priest Around February this year, about adopting a new name during my conversion at the Easter Vigil. After understanding the basic process, I inform him that “Francis” will be my new name. How wonderful and poetic it was for me, when a few months later the humble Jesuit Cardinal, Jorge Bergoglio, became Pope Francis.  

Now, moving onward from this experience, I find myself in a difficult position.  Recently, I have watched some of the things in my life become stripped away without my choosing and definitely beyond my control.  In my last post, I summarized the experiences of a lost wallet, then a stolen bank card a few months later, and then a car accident that involved a dear friend of ours while borrowing our vehicle.  While these experiences are challenging me to work through them graciously, I am reminded of some vulnerable members of my community that could in no way recover from these kinds of blows as quickly as I could.  This makes it really difficult for me to complain. Despite my good habits, good planning, and good forecasting, these are things that I just didn’t plan for. 

Farewell, my Mercury

Alas, the story continues. The lost wallet was in fact found with no harm done.  The bank card was replaced, as was the nearly $2,000 in stolen funds.  The car? Well, I am working through this in an unexpected way.  The insurance company explained that the car I loved needed repairs that exceed its value. So, my attachment to this meticulously maintained Mercury, loaded with all sorts of goodies, designed by talent from Dearborn, MI (later orphaned by the same company in June 2010), and found by a friend who isn’t with us any longer, leaves me for the great race track in the sky. Yes, I know I’m a sap. I’ll be honest, I did like that car an awful lot. I’m a Detroiter. Cars are what we do and enjoy. Even if we don’t work for a car company, it is ingrained on the majority of us. 

Thus, the painful idea of being “stripped” of the things important to me (comfort, transportation, and money) has a little more context for me.  Being stripped of this vehicle is hard, as was being stripped (albeit temporarily) of bank funds.  However, as I think about the life of Francis and how much he stripped of himself, my losses don’t really match up to his.  I still have my family, my home, another car to drive, and a full pantry.  Although I wonder...did he consider them losses? Maybe instead it was a propellant for him.  After all, he chose to free himself of many things and then ended up starting a revolutionary order that offered a very compassionate way of thinking.

Maybe this stripping of a few of my luxury items shouldn’t come as a surprise to me. After all, I did take on the name of a man who stripped himself of everything, which would probably include (require?) me losing some things along the way as well...that is if I really do want to embrace the “Franciscan Way”: Poverty, Chastity and Obedience.  Perhaps the unseen gift from all this “stripping”, is that the truly important aspects found in the world around me, becomes even more vivid with color and context: the humble community I live with, my relationship with Christ, my warm parish family, my beautiful wife Jennifer, and my amazing three children.

Amidst all this stripping, may God have mercy on my soul - that my words, thoughts, and actions be clothed with compassion and Grace.