The Groove

Usually by now, I’m busy typing up some new ideas and wrapping a framework around it, so that my lovely editor can make sure I’m not writing anything that isn’t too embarrassing.  However, while this past week was busy, it was also steady without any real single event that stood out - making it a little difficult to come up with some useful material.

As I think about it though, these last nine weeks of sabbatical have really been quite adventurous, so perhaps this was a good week to sort of have “mundane” things be the popular focus for me.

Since my sabbatical began, it has been a hit-the-ground-running way-of life.  Filling in my time with things to do has not been hard and actually quite a bit of fun. Looking back, I’ve embraced a huge change of faith as well as career focus, then immersed myself into home life as a stay-home-dad, and even learned all the things I’m not good at (multitasking!).  My beautiful wife and I, along with the help/support of others, rescued a dog in need of serious care, I’ve made wine (and beer too), and was introduced to a local Detroit hero, Fr. Solanus Casey as well as other interesting adventures.

So, now what? All I’ve done this week is help a family move into their home, bust up a concrete driveway, build garden boxes, plant a veggie garden, finish co-writing a grant for a community organization, take a some folks on a tour of a community center in my neighborhood.....but really, what’s that but a slow week? I mean this is what I do before breakfast!  :)  Well, I’m kidding of course. I know this is a lot to do in a week, but in doing these “things” that I enjoy, none of them individually stood out to offer a single piece of amazing insight that I hadn’t already known.  However, they did seem to say in unison: “This is a groove you’ve not experienced before - embrace this”

After reflecting on these events in my 9th week of sabbatical, it has been interesting because I think the groove is the right call.  There hasn’t been any major life change, nor has there been any major source of adventure bubble up out of some unplanned moment.  Rather, I’m finding that the groove is sort of a good thing: Wake up, do your thing, rest, eat, do another thing, reflect and sleep then rinse and repeat. 

Staying busy isn’t a problem for me, but remembering to embrace the moments where there is no action, or new thing, and then to treat it with the same attention as everything else - - this is a new idea for me. So when I hear that cliche phrase “embrace the moment”, I suppose it is only fair to also embrace those moments when things are seemingly mundane, and then learn something from them also.

In a world where there is so much activity, and keeping busy isn’t a problem, maybe it is important for me to not have anything “spectacular” happening and just rest. In fact, saying that means that I should probably schedule in some real rest - even when I’m supposed to be on a sabbatical resting.   

The Neighbor, the Stranger

Have you ever noticed how interesting people can be when in a public space filled with strangers? Like a mall or grocery store? There are a lot of “social” things happening, but it is the quiet exchanges that I often notice...such as a person nodding a hello to someone else as they pass through the canned goods section.  Is it me, or is that kind of strange? Shouldn’t we as humans be far more socially astute than “nodding hello” to a stranger in these public places? Ahhh....but we’re busy. We have places to be and someone else to accommodate.

When I used to travel for work, I remember arriving in a given city for a meeting, check into my hotel and then find something to eat at a local pub. I would typically eat alone, and those who do, usually sit at the bar.  I got used to it and then I started to notice how other strangers were doing the same thing, which wasn’t so strange after a while. The typical situation included a bar with about have half a dozen or so folks - usually other travelers or business people - eating alone and hardly talking to each other. Strange to me, because that stranger was probably a lot like them to begin with.  Instead, they’d usually click away on their smart phone Facebooking a friend, sending a tweet to their followers about the “new place” they’re at, or perhaps checking an email from a boss/client/colleague.  It’s comfortable to engage with those who are in your circle - socially, or virtually. So, I too clicked away on my smartphone. 

I know all this, because I am guilty of all this. I was/am around strangers at the airport, at the hotel, at the pub, on the highway, at the library, at the grocery store, at the ball game....you get the idea...and typically the engagement with strangers was very limited. And then, when I’m at home, or at my kids school, or church, at a party or with a group of friends, the interaction is quite high. Obviously so, because these are my circles and I happen to know the people I’m around. It seems that these circles promote conversation easily for me, because of their commonly shared aspects of life: social familiarity, family, religion, education, political philosophies, or creed of some sort. 

Well, this passed week I had the opportunity to attend a seminar given by a respected social activist, who is well thought of in several political and religious communities: Rev. Jim Wallis.  At this seminar, he asked a very simple question “Who is my neighbor?”.  You see, the Christian religion teaches that followers of Christ must love their neighbor, like they do themselves.  That word neighbor is actually quite a broad word: it’s EVERYONE.  Also, “loving thy neighbor” has to do with our caring, patient actions and some demonstrate this through hospitality.

Neighbor also translates into “stranger”. Stranger translates into someone unlike us - - someone who isn’t from “here”, or share our social familiarity, our family, religion, or education, political philosophies, or creed of any kind. So the challenge for me was how many strangers do I know (and break bread with) that are opposite of any of these things? Do I engage the opportunity to meet them? Or do I push them away instead? 

An interesting example Wallis spoke about was an evangelical church in either TN or KY (I couldn’t remember which state it was).  Basically, he explained how the pastor of this church opened their sanctuary to a Muslim congregation so they could have a place to pray.  You see, at the time of this event, that particular city did not want a Mosque to be built in their community. Ramadan was fast approaching, and these folks didn’t have a place to hold their entire congregation for prayer. So, the pastor felt that these “strangers” were his neighbors.  They were the aliens who were from somewhere else, believed something differently than he, and held affiliations not like his own. So, he lent them his God’s house.  Because this pastor’s God promotes the “loving thy neighbor” conviction, he (an evangelical Christian) opened the door for this Muslim congregation to worship in a church. The result of this hospitality?  Several area Imam’s became his friends, and these religious leaders have vowed to regularly care for his church campus. They respect this pastor, break bread together, and they comfort one another.

This idea of sharing a Christian house of worship with a Muslim congregation may be an odd thought for some. However, if these strangers couldn’t find comfort/hospitality from a church, wouldn’t that be opposed to the “love thy neighbor” teaching? Going from another angle, what if the sharing of my personal convictions and stories were shared less through my words, and more through practical actions of hospitality and kindness? How many more people would be genuinely attracted (and less turned off) if I lowered my walls of narrow understanding? 

St. Francis of Assisi was thought to have said: “Preach the Gospel at all times and if necessary, use words”. Not a bad reminder for the entire earthly community to think about - before we start preaching our own convictions and philosophies. 

Mom

Perhaps it’s a little cliche to write about mothers, since Mothers Day was just yesterday.  However, since my mother loves all of my writing, and all of my ideas, and says I am very handsome, and very smart, the idea to write about mothers must be another really clever idea of mine  :)   So here it goes...

Beyond multi-tasking, mothers really have a unique role in life.  Caring for their families in the way that they do, seems to bestow a range of skills that border “super-hero” status.  

I know of one mother raising 5 children on a minimum wage job, with an older and unreliable 2-door vehicle. Her rent is subsidized. Her life is survival. For her, simple things make a huge impact. For example, the family lost nearly all of their furniture a while back, but they had one couch stuck in the basement that could be used in their living room. All she needed to do is bring it up the stairs, over the banister, turned and moved through the first door way, through the kitchen, and then through another doorway, with a final turn into the living room. Not going to happen. However, with a little thinking and engineering from her neighbors, it did happen. This was cause for tears of joy and awe when it concluded. She call’s herself “Lucky”, but I call her “Teacher” - who reminds me what meekness looks like. I haven’t seen her around in a month...I hope she is okay.

Another mother in my world has aged far beyond her years on earth - and a little too quick.  Having a stroke a number of years back, her left side is “slow”.  Her husband isn’t regularly around, and I’ve never seen her children. But, perhaps my neighborhood is her “children”. She is busy every day and every weekend cutting the lawn of her dilapidated home, shoveling snow off porches of vacant homes, sweeping the street and curb in front of several homes, bagging leaves and then shuffling up to Glory for her groceries.  She calls herself “Blessed” - and she call me “Brother Tim”. Is there a better treasure than to be called her brother? 

There is this other woman who donates her time to clothe entire families in serious peril every month.  She single handedly renovated two entire classrooms and converted them into a full-service thrift store.  She welcomed a neighborhood child into her home, because the mother had no other options for child care (she needed to get to her job at a local retail store).  This talented woman made muffins with the young boy, gave him structure for the few hours that he was in her care, and then took him to his tutoring class. This woman’s style, grace, and talent for cooking are unprecedented. Her humility and desire to exercise her faith in all practical ways is something I learn from.  She calls herself “Nurturing” - I call her exactly right and also my beautiful wife. 

I can easily go on with all the mothers in my life: there is Alice, my own wonderful mother. Jenny, my go-get-em sister. Martha, my problem solving sister.  Trish, my mother-in-law and fighter for all things just.  There is Joni at Christ the King - and of course Linda F. How about Toni, Torri, Kandra, Junita, Maureen, and Lisa J. at their respective non-profits.  Maggie H., Anessa M. and Sister Angela who are such great coaches.  My neighbors Artina, Helena, Tanisha, Maria, Leslie, Sue, Barbara, Jamie, Danielle, Charlene (really...who could forget Charlene).  My life is filled with mothers, and to see any good in me, means to look at these  women (and so many others that are not named) and see the contributions they have each made in me. 

The final “Mother” is someone I am only recently getting to know.  To me, she is quiet, meek, and mysterious.  Sadly, she is someone I blew off for most of my entire life.  But her patience to wait for me, is unmeasurable.  Her name is Mary.

In my upbringing there wasn’t much attention given to Mary. She was invited to Christmas, but that was about it - not much study was given to her.  But as I sit, read, pray and listen, I’ve learned that there is so much more to this Mother than I realized: There is just one person who was in attendance at each of our Lord’s significant milestones: His birth announcement, His birth, His death, His resurrection and at Pentecost. Mary.  There is only one person that could have shared the stories of Gabriel’s announcement, the flight into Egypt, or the intimate caresses of her son. Mary is that person.

Her pondering is what puts me in awe of her as well.  Thinking what this Woman’s life must have been like - she was human after all - and putting real thoughts and curiosities into how she fed her son, cared for her son, watched her son perform miracles, and cried for her son as she watched Him suffer. And then see her son return from the grave.  To put it simply, she is the only one that was intimately and physically present for the entire timeline of Christ.  And, to think that this Mother was given to me by Christ himself...it’s a little intense, if I let it sink in.

Perhaps in time, this relationship will grow and I will be able feel her warm embrace, and the prayers she offers up to God on my behalf, and behalf of the whole church.  For now, and for this Mothers Day, I am so very fortunate to have some wonderful Mothers in my life. Thank you, to all of you wonderful women.

Treasure of One Month Later

Officially, I have wrapped up my first full month of sabbatical. Unofficially, this month progressed different that I thought it would. I say all this to remind myself that it really has been a whole month of dedicated to rest and focus on the important things in life.  Huh.  Who knew how fast this time would really go, and how busy my schedule would be when I am supposed to have nothing to do. 

Reflecting on this first month I have learned that life has some very real treasures. As if you didn’t know, gold is a great treasure.  It is rare, precious, and can be exchanged for virtually anything.  If you have a lot of it, you are considered rich (which some people spend their whole life pursuing).  Of course being rich has its perks, the primary of which is the ability to make choices: a choice to eat broth soup vs. a filet mignon. A choice to drive a clunky 1979 Ford Fairmont or 2014 Cadillac CTS. A choice to shop for clothes at salvation army, or at Ralph Lauren. If you are not rich, these choices are made for you: you simply get the soup to eat, Fairmont car to drive, and Salvation Army clothes to wear.  Ah, but the common thread between having choices and not having choices (rich and not rich) is that you are fed, have a car and are clothed, regardless of where you are at in life. At the conclusion of our lives on earth, it is this  “stuff” that will remain here while we take a step to meet our creator face to face. It is good to be reminded that none of this “stuff” journeys with us beyond our time on earth.

Focusing on stuff this passed week, I had the opportunity to visit someone who did not own treasure (gold, Cadillac’s, Ralph Lauren...and so forth).  He was poor, not very talented academically, did not marry, or have children. He didn’t have a home of his own, his sense of style was drab and he had a very long beard.  He loved to play the violin - but he wasn’t very good at it.  He died in 1957, so we didn’t really even “meet”.  His name was Bernard Casey and he was born into an Irish immigrant family in 1870 on a farm in Wisconsin. Bernard tried several different career paths from farmer, to clearing log-jams on rivers, and even working as a prison guard.  However, in 1897 his path led him to become invested into the Capuchin Franciscan order at St. Bonaventure in Detroit, MI. 

Bernard took on the new name of “Solanus”.  Father Solanus spent many years at the monastery in Detroit (as well as other cities) and he was known by peers, leadership and even the people as being humble and never grumbling.  Father Solanus was never very good in school or seminary, and as a result his priestly duties were quite limited. Usually, this meant he was a doorkeeper to greet folks, or did tasks like custodial work and gardening.  Father Solanus passed away in 1957 and was not really known for any great task. However, his humility and servitude (even in his final sufferings) was such that the whole world would come to know Christ.  This is what he was known for - and more than 21,000 documented people can attest to his reputation of humility, prayer and communal engagement.

During my visit to St. Bonaventure, which also holds Father Solanus’ tomb, I was able to slow down for some time and consider the treasures of patience and humility that he displayed. While meditating there, I was embraced with the idea to slow down in my praying: to digest each word and syllable - take each vowel of the Lord’s Prayer and give it the ability to saturate the speaker. Exercising this thought (slowing down my prayer life) seemed to make time stand still for me.  The sanctuary I knelt at stood silent, the blessed sacrament in front of me offered somber comfort.  The whole world I knew simply slowed down.  This was my treasure.  These words were really food. These moments in time were rare, precious even. 

After visiting St. Bonaventures and the Father Solanus Casey center, I can see how “treasure” can be defined by our interests or desires.  I’m learning that treasure could really be anything we want it to be.  So, how about this: Treasure is a thing that enables me to arrive at a unique place in life.  It can’t necessarily be bought or acquired.  It is something that may be found or given to me and can work as a tool, for which the result might be completely different to someone else. So, that “treasure” could be gold for one person, and the gift of being able to “slow down” for someone else.  However, exchanging “treasures” between these two people doesn’t necessarily have the same valued result. How about that?

If you haven’t ever heard of Father Solanus Casey, you can take the time to learn about him here: http://www.solanuscasey.org. If you are in the Detroit area (or are planning to be), let me know and we can go on a field trip together and see the monastery he is buried at - note you do not need to be catholic to do this.  :)