The Neighbor, the Stranger

Have you ever noticed how interesting people can be when in a public space filled with strangers? Like a mall or grocery store? There are a lot of “social” things happening, but it is the quiet exchanges that I often notice...such as a person nodding a hello to someone else as they pass through the canned goods section.  Is it me, or is that kind of strange? Shouldn’t we as humans be far more socially astute than “nodding hello” to a stranger in these public places? Ahhh....but we’re busy. We have places to be and someone else to accommodate.

When I used to travel for work, I remember arriving in a given city for a meeting, check into my hotel and then find something to eat at a local pub. I would typically eat alone, and those who do, usually sit at the bar.  I got used to it and then I started to notice how other strangers were doing the same thing, which wasn’t so strange after a while. The typical situation included a bar with about have half a dozen or so folks - usually other travelers or business people - eating alone and hardly talking to each other. Strange to me, because that stranger was probably a lot like them to begin with.  Instead, they’d usually click away on their smart phone Facebooking a friend, sending a tweet to their followers about the “new place” they’re at, or perhaps checking an email from a boss/client/colleague.  It’s comfortable to engage with those who are in your circle - socially, or virtually. So, I too clicked away on my smartphone. 

I know all this, because I am guilty of all this. I was/am around strangers at the airport, at the hotel, at the pub, on the highway, at the library, at the grocery store, at the ball game....you get the idea...and typically the engagement with strangers was very limited. And then, when I’m at home, or at my kids school, or church, at a party or with a group of friends, the interaction is quite high. Obviously so, because these are my circles and I happen to know the people I’m around. It seems that these circles promote conversation easily for me, because of their commonly shared aspects of life: social familiarity, family, religion, education, political philosophies, or creed of some sort. 

Well, this passed week I had the opportunity to attend a seminar given by a respected social activist, who is well thought of in several political and religious communities: Rev. Jim Wallis.  At this seminar, he asked a very simple question “Who is my neighbor?”.  You see, the Christian religion teaches that followers of Christ must love their neighbor, like they do themselves.  That word neighbor is actually quite a broad word: it’s EVERYONE.  Also, “loving thy neighbor” has to do with our caring, patient actions and some demonstrate this through hospitality.

Neighbor also translates into “stranger”. Stranger translates into someone unlike us - - someone who isn’t from “here”, or share our social familiarity, our family, religion, or education, political philosophies, or creed of any kind. So the challenge for me was how many strangers do I know (and break bread with) that are opposite of any of these things? Do I engage the opportunity to meet them? Or do I push them away instead? 

An interesting example Wallis spoke about was an evangelical church in either TN or KY (I couldn’t remember which state it was).  Basically, he explained how the pastor of this church opened their sanctuary to a Muslim congregation so they could have a place to pray.  You see, at the time of this event, that particular city did not want a Mosque to be built in their community. Ramadan was fast approaching, and these folks didn’t have a place to hold their entire congregation for prayer. So, the pastor felt that these “strangers” were his neighbors.  They were the aliens who were from somewhere else, believed something differently than he, and held affiliations not like his own. So, he lent them his God’s house.  Because this pastor’s God promotes the “loving thy neighbor” conviction, he (an evangelical Christian) opened the door for this Muslim congregation to worship in a church. The result of this hospitality?  Several area Imam’s became his friends, and these religious leaders have vowed to regularly care for his church campus. They respect this pastor, break bread together, and they comfort one another.

This idea of sharing a Christian house of worship with a Muslim congregation may be an odd thought for some. However, if these strangers couldn’t find comfort/hospitality from a church, wouldn’t that be opposed to the “love thy neighbor” teaching? Going from another angle, what if the sharing of my personal convictions and stories were shared less through my words, and more through practical actions of hospitality and kindness? How many more people would be genuinely attracted (and less turned off) if I lowered my walls of narrow understanding? 

St. Francis of Assisi was thought to have said: “Preach the Gospel at all times and if necessary, use words”. Not a bad reminder for the entire earthly community to think about - before we start preaching our own convictions and philosophies.