Your Life Needs Serving, Sir

Be fluid. Be mobile. Sway a little. Serve one another. Approach people with generosity. When there are differences, learn to identify more, and learn to compare less. Be introspective. Consider others more than yourself.  So, these are just a few of the ideas that I’ve encountered from really smart people in this last week alone.  How wonderful to have so many smart people in my life. Thank God for this blessed community making their way through their journey, and taking their time to share their findings with me. 

I see a common thread that ties these ideas together: servanthood. Reflecting on the idea of “serving”, it is amazing to see how much mileage I can get from being an authentic servant. There really is traction with this behavior - I saw it break down bad vibes between people and builds wonderful bridges just this past week. 

Lets not confuse the beautiful act of serving with degrading terms like human-door-mats, or self-imposed-martyrs.  There is quite a difference between these terms and authentic service. For example: door-mats lack confidence and grace. They simply lie there, mute, mostly useless, and they do not explore creative ways to care for feet...it simply receives mud and dirt.  Self-Imposed-martyrdom is really a misnomer. Martyrdom is when you are killed for your religious beliefs - always inflicted by someone else. The thought of “Self-imposed-martyrdom” is a disgusting insult to the likes of early religious people like Andrew, Peter, or Bartholomew who was skinned alive for worshipping Christ and not the Roman Emperor.  The thought of self-imposed-martyrdom is really selfishness; seeking some kind of greedy gain in a twisted sort of way.

Neither of these descriptions portray serving at all. Genuine servanthood is done graciously, with sincere care. One will find authentic love, humility, and grace at the root of serving. I have the opportunity on a regular basis to see my beautiful wife serve me and our family with amazing creations for dinner. She busily works in the kitchen adding backyard grown herbs to a fancy chicken roast, or calling in neighborhood kids to enjoy their first homemade enchilada and avocado salad at a dining table with a complete family.  This is serving: she shares her talent with genuine grace and care with her family and her neighbors.

Reading ancient scripture, I learn how the greatest servant ever, Jesus Christ, explains the greatest form of love.  He says it is to “lay ones life down for a friend”.  The depth of this statement for me is that the “laying down” part doesn’t mean to stop breathing and die - as if you shoved someone out of the way from a bus, to take the impact yourself.  While that too can be love, here I understand it to mean the daily choosing to share (or give) your whole life to a friend...perhaps your spouse or neighbor...so that you might meet their needs in a caring and loving way.  Choosing to set my life aside for a friend, put on a smile while doing it, and find joy in that act of giving is quite a different way to operate than say....the kids at Paddy's pub in Philadelphia.  Without this choice, smile, or joy, I miss the fuel needed to perpetuate that way of life - I am running on my strength and not the strength that joy offers.

It would be nice to see this sort of thinking in our mainstream world. How common it is to focus on my own needs and my own gain. How frequent it is to have thoughts of what I need and create methods on how to meet them. I caught myself wondering what our human race what be like if we genuinely served our neighbors and friends. If but for a day, how would my community become different if I choose to pursue just one person and made sure to respectfully meet their real needs.... then two persons... then three...

I don’t wish to ponder on a utopian world that has everyone serving one another and then share it as a fairy tale story. This is because I would rather not waste my time living on this earth considering a “what if” scenario. Instead, I was pleasantly reminded by a dear friend to actually “do” this kind of life:  To really pursue a life of serving “my friend” and to approach people with all kinds of generosity. 

And, here it goes~

The Contemplative Decision Maker

Over the last few days and even weeks, I have experienced a different hue of decision making for my life. It’s a kind of intentional decisiveness that provides real results, regardless if they turn out to be negative or positive.  As these decisions are being formed, I sort of feel like an observer who watches them as they begin to take shape.  

Looking back at one recent decision that my beautiful wife and I made, we were concluding the process of buying a second car to replace our Mercury. I started to recognize this feeling of “observation” as it became more apparent to me: what I was doing, and how I was doing it. We did all our homework.  We knew the brand, style, engine size, maintenance requirements, mileage, age and other important factors for this family-go-getter.  We learned which problems to expect and what to avoid from the preferred vehicle. We worked through the conflicts and we also learned that when one is on sabbatical, there is no opportunity to get a loan.  In other words, this is a cash only purchase, so we couldn’t make a mistake on this. After about 6-7 weeks of searching, we found that vehicle that made sense for us....which lead us to making a decision...which lead us to writing out a check....which means saying goodbye to an awful lot of hard-earned bank savings.....which lead us to hope that we did our homework right, and hopefully avoid buyers remorse. This was intentional decision making at a very real level.

Another big decision we have been working through is the reality of our financial responsibilities at the conclusion of this sabbatical. After all, a kid like me can only live on savings for so long before the focus of earning an income becomes the primary objective.  So here begins that decision making process of what to do and how to do it.  The outcome of this decision will be intentional, but it comes with all the big life changing characteristics like unknowns, uncertainty...and dare I say fear?

For me, responding to the unknown is a difficult thing to do.  Thinking through this, I speculate that it’s probably because I can’t place a name on what the unknown is, and I cannot place the unknown in a “box” of sorts to control.  The unknown has an ambiguity to it, that keeps it shapeless and perhaps chaotic. In my short 35 years on this planet, I’ve learned that responding to things unknown is rarely done the same way twice.  Thus, relying on the comfort of faith and the communion of my fellow brothers and sisters is crucial.  While this doesn’t take away the unknown, I at least have the ability to respond to the unknown without being alone.  Ah, but allowing decisions to remain unmade or allowing things to simply happen seems to empower the unknown more than it has a right to be empowered. In this place, I could find myself in a prison of my own making....staying put...reacting in uncertainty or worse.......fear. Dare I say that making a decision that becomes bad, might be better than not making any decision at all? I suppose I’ll have to ponder that one a little longer.

As I think through what the next couple months entail for me and my family, the unknown is certainly on my mind. That said, the need to meet my family responsibilities in a post-sabbatical world is an unknown that I am [quite truthfully] becoming excited about.  In fact, I’ve shared some of my ideas about my plan with some key individuals.  The responses I’ve received have had a broad range on the spectrum from fear of the unknown, to confidence that this will be a productive and successful result.  While I value all the responses on the spectrum (this is important, especially with the not so comfortable responses, so that I keep a level head through this decision making process) I’ve found that the fuel I need most is hearing encouraging words from my community, and being assured that building on the capabilities that I have learned will be helpful in this adventure.  Of course there is no promise that this will all “work” per se, but it is amazing how powerful a simple phrase of encouragement can be for some one (like me) working through something new and challenging. Thank God for the community of people He has given me in my life.

Perhaps facing the unknown is a thing beauty. Confronting a given “unknown” reminds me that while I don’t have everything under control, I have the benefit of touring this journey as an active and responsible participant, while retaining an unexplainable confidence that the end result will be sufficient for my needs. Call it faith and works united for the benefit of this journey. Could I ask for anything more? When I make intentional choices that are thought out, contemplative and strategized, there seems to be a power of sorts that that goes along with it.  Maybe this is what has been called an “American Dream” or “Pursuit of Happiness” or “Desires of the Heart”.  Whatever it is on secular or spiritual terms, I am definitely seeing the action of works responding to faith, which [for me] seems to ignite this life adventure and make it an amazing experience. 

Do I have an idea? Have I looked at the risk-reward calculations? Then I must make a decision: put action behind the idea (hint: faith & works) and then work it through. Or, don’t. And then I shall wonder what might have been and miss the spice of life God has allowed me to taste.

There is a responsibility to be had in this operation. Certainly there is no room for carelessness. Praying and contemplating through these things with the help of God and seeking the community of mentors and I have, is critical.  And then, engaging the variety of tangible resources at my disposal like people, technology, transportation, and common sense are the right ingredients to make this work. 

Stay tuned.  This adventure is taking off...again...thanks be to God.

Treasure of Six Months Later

Wow. Its been six months. Six whole months that I’ve had to enjoy this sabbatical.  So much to consider. So much to think about, and so much to plan for - - all wrapped up into this one moment.

Six months ago, I embarked on an idea that no one I knew had ever done. Six months ago, a few people said I was very brave for doing this. Six months ago, many people said that what I was doing was a very cool thing. Whatever the viewpoint, or life experience that influenced their comments, I can honestly say that this sabbatical idea is something I am glad to be doing.  And, I encourage others to seriously consider it for themselves.

Taking the idea of working ones entire life and then retiring at the golden age of 65(ish) to enjoy the fruits of hard earned IRA’s, pensions, 401(k)’s, roth’s, and stocks, seems like a generally accepted idea in our culture.  However, at that point I may not have the same health as I do now.  I may not have the same beautiful people in my life, as I do now. So enjoying those fruits at that golden age time, may need to be done in a different way. Certainly these were not the reasons why I embarked on a sabbatical in the first place.  Although, they have complimented this sabbatical idea in a unique way that I did not expect.  

Now, I’m not opposed to the generally accepted idea of retirement. I believe that it is a good thing to think about and plan for ones future, and even exercise patience to retire at the correct time. I know many folks who have done this, and have done it very well. I am thankful to God for these wise examples of longterm thinking people in my life. I also know many folks who are passed the magical age of 65 and still need to work hard at their career, because, for a variety of reasons, they are not able to stop. For these folks, I stand in awe and sincere respect of the burden they carry.

Looking differently at the idea of retirement opens me up to questions that I enjoy contemplating. Using this time on my sabbatical, exploring the possibility of changing my long term operations is one of the contemplative thoughts I revisit. One question that I often consider is “does work have to be something I retire from”? Couldn’t I just live a more simple life and embark on a career that I truly enjoy - - maybe enjoy enough to never stop doing it? It may mean a smaller income for me, but if I am given more time to invest in my family and community, wouldn’t that bear a kind of fruit that I could taste even now - instead of waiting till my golden years? Obviously, I cannot ignore the reality of financial responsibilities in my life. Having a mortgage, a family, automobiles, taxes, insurance...these things aren’t going to disappear simply because I want to live more simple, or simply enjoy life. Addressing these real life responsibilities is crucial, and I am realizing the the possible creative ways at how this can be done enjoyably....to be continued.

Whether that enjoyable task is renovating homes, building strategic solutions for businesses, working at a soup kitchen, or baking cupcakes, I’m learning that work is a gift, and a culture focused on security is overrated.  For me, common sense prevails: the lily of the valley blossoms, and food for the sparrow is provided. So will my needs be met, at the submission of my will to the Kingdom of God.

Seeing as how I’m being unconventional in the first place (by taking this beautiful leave of rest), I’m grateful to have experienced so much with the people most valuable to me. Having nearly four weeks of camping with my family, and a two week pilgrimage to one of the holiest sites in Christendom, I’ve been impacted in a way that nothing else could.  When I sprinkle in the various experiences from Santa-Maria, or by visiting the Fr. Solanus Casey center, I begin to see the real need of enjoying each moment and living fully in it. Time truly is an asset, and the poorest people in the world seem to be stuck with only large quantities of money. Furthering that thought; the asset of time is only an asset if I recognize the gift that it truly is.

So, here I am. Six months into this incredible journey. The places I’ve visited, the conflicts I’ve had, the relationships that have experienced change...I wonder...could this sabbatical just keep on, keeping on? Does it really need to come to an end? Of course, I’ll need to earn an income at some point and manage the responsibilities that God has richly blessed me with.  But inclusive of all this, what if I began to treat every decision with a responsible view of sabbatical rest? Could I add in a new career or a new life change of some kind, and still operate in that mode of contemplative rest? Ah, perhaps this is that wealth that some experience by simply [responsibly] enjoying the moment. 

Bring on the challenge, the missteps, the adventure, the excitement, the mistakes and the rewards.  In the end, a pure and just heart submissive to almighty God and redeemed by His grace is really all that I can own.