St Paul Outside the Walls

How intense it is to visit locations that are marked with hundreds, even thousands of years of history.  After spending a few days in Rome, I've had the opportunity to see these iconic places, and stare at the. In wonder. The beauty of what I am actually seeing is enhanced by the tangible nature of the Christian journey. A great example for me is that when I read ancient texts described by Paul in a variety of Epistles, and see him talk about his choice of being a slave to Christ, and then see the site of his grave, which includes a nine-linked chain that he was bound by for sharing Christ's message, the visual objects enhance the scripture in such a remarkable way. Having "things" to touch, see, smell, taste and hear completely enhance any message - thanks be to God for giving us "things" by which we can better hear His story.

Visiting the Basilica di San Paolo was rich in theology and awe inspiring beauty for me. After
descending the steps in the center of the cathedral, I was brought toward the actual grave of St Paul. The air was sobering, and I felt the depth and holiness that this site offered.  I sat on the cool marble floor against the wall and prayed. I journaled, and thought about the conversion that Paul underwent: persecuting individuals with the backing of religious authority and then having a revelation that destroyed his understanding by meeting this person that he was killing, Christ. Having left all that he knew, his conversion took him to great distances physically and spiritually.

 

My conversion to Catholicism is nothing near this dramatic, and I certainly do not have to work through persecution like he did. However, the humility sets in when I think about the negative things I've said in the past against the catholic church, the accusations of idolatry among other things. I think about the separation I felt between "us and them": Protestant and Catholic. I think about the effort I made to help them see my way of thinking. And then, to think about my own conversion and the embarrassment of my old ways. Humbling doesn't begin to describe the feeling. 

Learning from Paul and his great humility, I take my cue. Expressing words of compassion and love is far more convincing than arguing and attacking. While some may wonder why such a change in my life, when they knew me many moons ago, the strongest witness is shared with a smile - a genuine smile. Lord have mercy on me, a sinner. Christ have mercy on me a sinner. Lord have mercy on me a sinner.